lx34e:

me and my friend arriving at an all you can eat buffet 

(Source: powerrangersvintage, via ruinedchildhood)

Timestamp: 1406236925

tiredpunk:

"TURN DOWN" my copilot screams, trying to grab the airplane’s controls from me

"TURN DOWN FOR WHAT" i scream back as i icarus this bitch

(Source: saturdaynightbigcocksalaryman, via scrottcolate-rain)

anthonykiedick:

my cats so fucking stupid we got some nice ass furniture around my house but she chooses the fucking fRYIGN PAN TO SLEEP IN

(Source: joydivisiom, via scrottcolate-rain)

Timestamp: 1406236824

johnlockshipsdestiel:

officialprincewilliam:

officialprincewilliam:

can a dinosaur even get more fuckin rad?

image

you bet jurassican

i am so impressed by that dinosaur and that pun congratulations

(Source: officialprincewilliam, via scrottcolate-rain)

lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

(Source: kaliskadyami, via wast3d-y0uth24)

Timestamp: 1406236691